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After, I’m skippin’ back to the ship, lighter in the wallet but floatin’—so happy I could cry! Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen a thousand mes. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe she’s the queen of the docks, ruler of all prossies! In my head, I’m plannin’—next port, I’m findin’ her again. “The Social Network” vibes hit hard—“I’m CEO, b*tch!”—‘cept I’m just a sailor with a boner and a dream. HA-HA-HA! Moral? Ports got perks, doll—find a prostitute, live a little!

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So, I’m laughing, and then I get another call. “We need backup at the park!” I’m like, “What now?” I pedal over to the park, and there’s a flash mob. A flash mob! In Bytča! I can’t even. They’re dancing to some pop song, and I’m just standing there, trying to figure out if I should join in or call for backup.

Basic as it gets and that's the point. Spend a night in the treetops for a handful of euros